I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
