The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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