is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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