On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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