Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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