she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She bit a glass in half.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
