dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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