How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
