Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize