He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Randomize
