Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
