we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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