Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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