I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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