She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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