Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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