I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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