I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
