Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
