I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
