I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
