I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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