Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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