Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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