i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
