You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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