My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
