The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
