booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
