how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your penis caused this!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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