Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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