yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize