you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
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The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
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I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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