I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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