i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
