In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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