Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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