you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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