what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
