She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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