I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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