i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
