On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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