There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
