Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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