I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i think i have herpe
just one?
time to smoke my breakfast
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
