I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
