Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
