I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
is it fun? or sober?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
