Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
