I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize