my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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