There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
