my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
