It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
