What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize