I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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