Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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