i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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