i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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