Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
