whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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