I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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