do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
